Haircuts, hersty and the ancient oak

Welcome welcome one and all, to yet another long awaited thrilling entry in the continuing saga on the times, trials and tribulations of life as a modern day medieval fool. Or as I prefer to call it “my blog”.

It’s been a busy summer, busier than normal, but that’s the way I want it. After all, to quote from the great prophet, “an unemployed jester is nobodies fool”. I could write 4 or 5 entries about the fun we’ve had this summer, but instead I’m going to concentrate on a couple of the best. I.E. “England’s Medieval Festival” (A.K.A. hersty) and “The Ancient Oak Medieval Fayre” (A.K.A. the ancient oak medieval fayre).

England’s Medieval Festival is a great event held over the August bank holiday at Herstmonceux castle near Hastings in east sussex. This was it’s 26th consecutive year, of which I think I’ve performed at the last 24. During that time it’s seen many changes and has grown from strength to strength. The most notable changes from my point of view is the inclusion of camping for the public (including some groovy glamping tents). This is a wonderful and unique chance to fully immerse oneself in 3 whole days (and nights) of medieval life. And lets face is, what child (aged 9-90) doesn’t want to spend the evening siting at a table, listening to some world class, kicking music, whilst chatting to knights, princess’s and of cause, the worlds sexist (and most humble) fool.

And if that’s not your thing, then there’s the outside cinema with an array of medieval themed films. Or maybe you want to really push the boat out and enjoy a medieval banquet held in the castles great banqueting hall. If you’re really lucky, then some knights might even invite you to join them in their camp as they sit around a fire, supping on ale or a bottle or two of mead from the greatest of all mead producers, The “Magic Mead” company. In my humble opinion they are purveyors of the some of the best meads I’ve ever tried (and over 30 years of medievaling means that, in my time, I have tried a mead or two).

The other main change from my point of view, is the inclusion of a wet weather contingency plan. This ensures that the fun continues regardless of the traditional bank holiday weather, but more on that latter, for I’m getting ahead of myself. First, let me start at the beginning, which for us was turning up on the Friday afternoon and, in a break from our normal hersty setting up routine, setting up in daylight. It’s so much easier (and a lot less painful) to hammer in 83 heavy duty metal tent pegs when you can see what your doing. And a lot easier to juggle in my shows when my thumbs aren’t swollen from misaimed mallet swings.

setting up

Over the years we and the adjacent shows and stalls have always set up in the same places and know exactly where to place ourselves. In our case we are between the 3rd and 7th posts of the fencing around kids kingdom. Unfortunately the site owners have removed the fence, meaning that I and my neighbours spent a good ten minutes standing there, scratching our heads, trying to work out who goes where. Luckily for us, although we only meet up once a year, we all class each other as good friends, so it was all sorted out without fistycuffs or lances at dawn.

Day 1

Saturday morning greeted us with brilliant sunshine and the promise of a fun filled, action packed day, and so it was with a spring in our steps that Jester Dragonfly and I headed up to the front gate, eager to meet and welcome that mighty hord known as “the public”. Now it’s a long walk from our medieval encampment in kids kingdom all the way up to front of house, but one of the unique things about England’s Medieval Festival is the “gatters”. These are a fleet of golf carts that travel around the site. They are not just there to transport mega stars like my own humble self, but also members of the public. Simply wait until a gatter comes along, stick out your thumb, jump aboard (making sure its stopped first) and tell them where you wish to go. This free service is perfect for the elderly, parents with tiered out kids or those who simply fancy a ride.

As expected, it was a busy day and I was soon enjoying performing my “welcome routines”. These are a variety of short routines designed to get people in the mood for a fun day whilst also giving them some info on whats happening where. It also gives me the chance to interact 1 to 1 with people, thereby giving them the personal touch that this festival is well known for. Then, after a couple of hours of “welcome to england’s medieval festival. The best festival in the whole field” and other witty intros, it was time to head back to camp and get ready for my first show.

After checking all my kit was ready, I wandered out onto the footpath to talk to passers by. Telling kids, adult, dogs and anything else that ventured by that it was nearly show time and asking them to come and watch (well it’s really embarrassing if I’m the only one there). I need not of feared, for I had a great crowd and as I gazed out at them I recognised many faces of fans who come to see my kids show year after year. Some of them even had children with them!

After my show and a quick bit of lunch, it was time to do some walk about. I love doing walk about as you never know who you’re going to meet or what the kids are going to say. As such you have to be ready for any and everything. From kids who want to see magic, adults who want to hear a joke and people who need info or have a problem. As the face of the festival you need to be ready for it all. But walk about is also my chance to meet up with old friends, re-enactors, traders and members of the public who, over the years, have become true friends. Then, after my second show and yet more walk about, it was time to head back up to the gates and do the good byes.

Another thing I like about this festival is the fact that, even though it’s one of the largest of it’s kind, the orginisors still take the time to listen to ideas from us mere mortals. One idea I had was to build a platform for me inside the castle tower a the entrance/exit. Here I sit chatting to the public as they leave. Asking them if they’d had a good day (in all my years there no one has ever said no). Laughing and joking with them and performing various short good bye routines, including one where I portray rapunzel’s brother, repugnant.

Eventually the last of the day trippers, pushing prams full of tiered out babes leave and its time to have a couple of hours down time before my final show of the day. For although the kids kingdom has closed, we still have all the glampers and campers to entertain. This includes a fire possession from the camp site to the beer tent, where many bands perform through out the night. But that’s not something I take part in. My job is to perform for the grand banquet in the castles grand banqueting hall.

The Grand Banquet

Here the room is filled with 3 long tables. The two longest tables are surrounded by banqueters (if that’s not a real word, then it dammed well should be). The 3rd table is reserved for the nobles of the house, including the festivals very own king and queen. A lovely couple who, when not kinging, queening and presiding over banquets, spend their spare time running “The Crossed Keys“. A lovely old fashioned pub in Chatteris. If you’re ever in the area and want the very best in food and ales, all served in a old world setting, then you wont do better than visiting the crossed keys pub (tell them I sent you, I might make a free beer out of it). Then, at around 10pm, and only then, is my days work done and I can finally stop playing the part of the happy, care free fool and go back to being a misserable, child hating what name. (That’s a joke by the way. The truth is I love my job. It’s a true passion and oh so much better than working for a living). And so it is that, work finished, it’s time for a quick drink and dance to some great live music in the tavern, then off to bed, for tomorrows another busy day.

Day 2

Sunday morning brought with it dark, heavy clouds and the promise of rain. But unlike other, lesser events, this doesn’t mean we remain shut, for here at england’s medieval festival the moto is “The show must go on”. For not only are there the campers and glampers to entertain, but over the years the daytrippers have also come to learn that we remain not only open, but also up and running.

The promised rain began to fall just as I started my first show of the day, but one of the percurlyatites that I’m known for, is my love of a challenge and the challenge was this. Do I stop my show and move it under cover (stopping part way through is never a good idea) or do I prove to myself that I’m good enough to be able to keep people standing in the rain for the next 20 minutes just to watch me? I’m proud to say that I raised to the challenge.

Now whenever I’m performing, at the back of my mind, there’s always the fear that, mid performance, I’ll mess up and my balls will drop. Add to this the slippery nature of my now wet balls and you can understand just how uncomfortable I felt. (should I pause awhile here whilst those of you with a childish mind stop sniggering). but that wasn’t the only problem. The stuffing in my horny hat isn’t waterproof and the added weight of the water in the stuffing meant that, as I jumped about, so I was constantly being slapped in the face by a soggy horn (oh please, stop laughing and just grow up).

Like I say, I love a challenge, so my 30 minute show lasted about 40 minutes, simply because it was so much fun to keep them there. But eventually I drew my show to a close, took a well deserved squelchy bow and quickly moved my equipment into the dry before venturing out once again into the rain, this time to perform walk about routines.

I’m lucky in the sense that I have a full length, woollen medieval coat which keeps all save my head not only dry, but also warm. So I was quite happy to wander around in the rain. As the rain got heavier and heavier, so I headed down towards the massive medieval market. Here I knew I’d find lots of traders who, due to the weather, weren’t going to do a lot of trade. So I amused myself by strolling around singing “summertime”, “oh what a beautiful morning” and other similar themed songs in such a happy manner that it was almost guaranteed to get on their nerves (hey, it’s one of the perks of the trade). And it was whilst strolling around that I saw a show the likes of which I’ve never seen before.

The jousting field was deemed too slippery for the horses to perform safely on, but our motto here is, as stated earlier, “the show must go on”. And so it was that I gazed upon the sight of crowds of people thoroughly enjoying getting soaking wet as they watched the jousters jousting without the horses!

Grown men in full armour running at each other with great big, long wooden poles, often slipping and fulling in the mud long before they reached their target, as they done a truly brilliant job of entertaining the crowds. It was one of the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time and proof of just how hard everyone at England’s Medieval Festival works to make it one of the best shows around. regardless of the weather.

Day 3

Monday was, thankfully another dry day and warm enough to cause steam to raise from soggy knights and damp damsels. The crowds were larger than normal and a great time was had by all as knights battled, jousters jousted (with horses this time) and I, your humble narrator, donned his spare, dry hat and spent the day fooling, juggling, magicing and all the other “ings” that one would expect from Britain’s premier humble fool. Then, after the last show was completed  and the last goodbye said, it was time to pack up our tents, wring out our soggy bits and finally head home from what must be one of the best and most enjoyable herstys we had in a very long time.

But our time at home was somewhat short lived. For we arrived home late Tuesday night. Unpacked and washed kit Wednesday, then repacked Thursday ready to venture forth once more bright and early on the Friday. This time to a smaller, yet no less entertaining show known as The ancient Oak Medieval Fayre.

The Ancient Oak Medieval Fayre

Based just outside of Cambridge, this is a wonderful medieval show put on by a friend of mine. In fact the show is so good that Jester Dragonfly and I are always more than happy to not only perform at it, but also help by crewing free of charge. I also supplied free advertising for them on both, TV and radio. You can watch and listen to them by clicking on the red links, but I wont as I hate watching myself.

Like all good shows it had all the basic elements of a fun filled medieval re-enactment. I.E. knights in armour hitting each other on the head in a historical manner, jousting from the world famous “Horsemen of the knight“. living history camps with Vikings, Saxons and of course medieval encampments from over 10 different re-enactment groups! It had a medieval market where one could buy anything from mead to armour, wooden swords to full on, double-handed war axes forged by master blacksmiths and oh so much more.

There was a wonderful, Birds of Prey display by Tim and Tina from “ Out on a Wing Falconry “. This lovely couple perform one of the best falconry displays I’ve seen in a very long time and are also really nice people who have a true love for their birds. So if you’re looking for a display for a show or birthday treat, or maybe you want to give someone special a one to one day flying birds. Then give them a call. You really wont be disappointed.

there was even a chance to tryout your skills as an archer care of the “Phoenix Warlords Medieval Re-enactment“. The rather good and nicely priced beer tent was supplied by “The Trolls Bottom” and came complete with an array of fine ales and ciders as well as mead and a selection of their own flavoured spirits.

Our dear friends The Pentacle Drummers were there performing with ear splitting enthusiasm as they beat dried animal skins with lumps of wood and I, your poor humble narrator, performed comic skills of mystery and dexterity. All this and more was happening at east Anglia’s biggest and bestest medieval re-enactment, all contained in a field just a few miles from the centre of Cambridge city.

Now every gig is different. They all have their strong points and their weak points. and the strong point about this event, the one thing that sticks out in my mind even more than the awesome entertainment, is it’s feel. It’s like being on your local village green with family and mates.

It was a sunny weekend and families set up house on the green surrounding the main arena. Spreading out blankets and picnics as they settled down for a fun filled day. Once settled they could let their kids run free, safe in the knowledge that they could watch them from a distance as, vorpal swords in hand, they challenged other kids to do battle. As the kids from one family made friends with kids from another family, so their parents would chat and new friendships were made.

Then the 5 kids fighting each other would decide to team up and fight the kids from a couple of other families At one point I sat at my tents, watching as this happened and thinking that it was like watching 11 year olds acting out “Game of thrones” (but with less blood and more clothing).

There was an array of food outlets, including one of my personal favorites “Dragonjaks“. A wonderful bunch of chefs who not only knock out great food at great prices whilst smiling and chatting with folk, but also kept me in a constant supply of coffee. Even the medieval market had a big family feel, for it was chock-a-block full of the “cream de la cream” of traders. All of them being the old school type of people who would always go that extra mile to help someone out, be they fellow traders or members of the public.

Next to our colourful, medieval encampment was a “have a go archery” stall, run by The phoenix war band. These are a wonderful bunch of reenactors who banded together to raise money for charity. Their have a go encampment has a range of bows of different size and strength to cater for all ages and the money they raise goes towards good causes. They also had a large, square medieval tent with the sides taken down so that they had some shade. And here it was that the true star of this blog, the stupendous Stormageddon, had his Stupendous haircut.

“But what” I here you cry “Is so stupendous about a haircut”? Well read on dear reader, for all shall be revealed.

Storms Sponsored Haircut

Our son, the fazmagorical Storm (A.K.A Stormageddon) is very nearly 7 (14th of September) in all those long years, he has never had, what my parents would call “a real haircut”! and he is very well known for his long, flowing blond locks. However, earlier this year he told us that he wanted, as he put it, “A boys haircut”.

Neither his mother, Jester Dragonfly, or myself wanted him to lose his rupunzalish look, but at the same time, he is now old enough to make the decision, and so it was that we begrudgingly agreed. After a talk with him about it he decided to do several things. The first was that he wanted to donate his hair to “The Princess Trust“. A wonderful charity that make wigs for children who, due to cancer and other illness’s, have lost their hair. Something that I personally feel is a wonderful idea made even more beautiful by it’s pure simplicity.

He also decided to see if people would sponsor his hair cut to raise money for 3 other good causes.

  1. Muscular Dystrophy UK are a wonderful charity who work in a number of ways with and for those who, like Storms cousin, suffer from this genetic condition. As we have the condition in our family it is, understandably, a subject close to our hearts.
  2. The Anne Harris Children’s fund are a small charity who raise funds for child related good causes. They were also the main funders for my work with children in conflict zones and, when we told them that we needed £2000 for a hoist to lift my nephews wheelchair into the car, offered to fund the whole lot!
  3.  Last but by no means lest, he wanted to raise money for his beaver pack (like cubs but for younger kids) as he wanted to give something back for all the fun.

We decided to set a goal of £1,000 to be shared equally between the 3 . I’ll be honest here and tell you that I was really worried that we had set the goal too high and he would be disappointed when we failed to reach it. I’m immensely proud to say that I need not of worried. For not only has he reached his goal, but he has passed it! I cant tell you how much yet, as the money is still coming in and people are still donating. Some in person with hard cash, others via his fund raising page https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/stormshaircut

To all our friends, in-laws, nephews and total strangers who donated and/or shared his page on social media, we here at the fools house would like to send you our sincere thanks. Indeed “Thank you”  falls far short of the gratitude we feel for your amazing response. There are way too many of you to mention here, but what I will say is that “the phoenix warband” made the largest, single donation. Something that literally brought tears to Jester Dragonfly’s eyes (where as I, being a manly type of man, merely had smoke in my eyes).

The cutting of the hair was performed, free of charge by the lovely Sue from “Short Back And Sides” in March and was happening at the same time as one of my shows, so I didn’t see the work in progress, just the end result, and what a result! Truth is I hardly recognized him as he looked so…….well……..normal! And I’ll never forget the look on his face when I took a photo and showed him what he now looks like. I admit to having a fear that he wouldn’t like it and would ask for it to be put back on, followed by the tears when we say that we cant. However he was totally amazed by his new look and also (I’m relieved to say) impressed with it, and still is.

Sadly sold out

Eventually this event had to do what all events do, I.E. come to an end. And so it was that, with heavy heart, I waved goodbye to happy parents and tired children. However, my sadness at their departure was short lived, as the event owner not only paid us cash, but even gave it to me rather than the better half! And so it was that, with a skip in my step, I headed at full speed towards a stall going by the name of “The king of Cups“.

I’d strolled by their stall earlier in the day and just happened to notice that they were selling their own brand of chilli mead. Now as anyone who knows me will tell you, I love chilli’s, so I sampled a wee taster. It is one of the best chilli meads I’ve had in a long time. Not only is it a lot hotter than most commercially available chilli meads, but (and this is what all chilli lovers look for) it had a real depth of flavour.

Stood there as way after wave of flavour washed against the inside of my cheeks like a finely mixed napam and paint stripper cocktail, before swallowing and enjoying its warming feel slide down my throat, kicking my tonsils on route with all the subtleness of a welsh rugby team on a stag night. “Yes” I thought “I want a bottle of this”. So you can imagine my disappointment when my eagerly held out hand of hard cash was met with the news that they’d sold out! And so it was that, with a crushed heart I returned to our encampment, handed our wages over to Jester Dragonfly and broke camp, ready to head homeward.

I can’t say how good this festival is and also how much bigger than last years. If it keeps on growing at this rate then some of the more established local events had better watch out and up their game. As this has all the promise of becoming one of East Anglia’s major attractions.

Future events

But enough of times past and onto up and coming events:

Cambridge Living History Fair

I’ve been performing at “The Cambridge Living History Fair” since it first started, many moons ago. Since then, it has simply gone from strength to strength. “But what it a living history fair” I hear you ask “And would I, a mere member of the public enjoy it”? Again you can check out the link above or read My review of The Cambridge living history fair in my blog entry entitled “My review of The Cambridge living history fair“.

King Henry’s Christmas Court

This year King Henry the 8th will be holding a Christmas court at the Mary Rose museum in Portsmouth. The quite sensibly named “King Henry’s Christmas Court” will be held over several weekends in the build up to and over the Christmas period. And what king would dare to hold court without his trusty fool, yours truly the one and only DevilStick Peat. I’ve never performed here before, but a couple of years ago we took the kids to the museum and everyone, adults and kids alike, had a great time.

And on the subject of Christmas. Booking are coming in fast. So if you’re charged this year with finding great entertainment for your works christmas bash, medieval banquet, or Christmas market, then why not hire the best. The one and only DevilStick Peat.

Well that’s all for now folks, but before I go I’d just like to wish our son and the true star of our show, the one and only Stormageddon a very happy birthday.

Maui Waui music festival

Maui Waui

Maui Waui, What, Where, Who and When;

Early September saw me working at Maui Waui music festival, a small but very nice and friendly festival set in the heart of the Suffolk countryside. Unlike most of the festivals that I work at, this one isn’t medieval or a country fair. it’s actually a music festival (hence its name), with all the Paraphernalia you’d expect to see at such an event, but I’m a mercenary jester and will go wherever the money is. So when Cosmo from the foolhardy circus contacted me and asked if I’d perform in his evening cabaret I jumped at the chance. Partly because I need the money, but mainly because it was a chance to work with and catch up with some old friends.

Cosmo is one of those old friends, in fact we’ve known each other for the best part of 30 years. He was the first real clown I ever met, when I was booked, many many moons ago, to help out with a few days of juggling workshops for Norwich university.

That event was organized by a then young student called ken, or Dr Ken as he is now known. He uses juggling, comedy and the such like to run very funny yet highly educational science shows. So if any teachers or home ed folks read this, he is well worth the money and can be found here. He was also booked to do shows over the weekend and, as I stood in the shadows watching his performance, I couldn’t help but feel a touch of pride  at the thought that maybe, just maybe, meeting me and learning about my lifestyle was a life changing moment that helped to inspire him to follow in my footsteps.

It was just me at this festival as Stormageddon and Jester Dragonfly were off doing other things. So all I had with me was a small two man tent which I quickly set up behind the foolhardy big top. Then Thursday evening was spent chilling with the rest of the troop as we listened to Wilson, a very funny and talented musician, playing his new computerised squeeze box (similar to an electric yamaha organ, but nowhere near as annoying). Then an early night as tomorrow the public would arrive and chaos would commence.

Another stage was called the “crime scene”. This had a large front painted up like a run down building in a dodgy part of town. You entered through a door that led to a winding alleyway festooned with wanted posters and at the end of the ally you had a choice. You could either turn left and enter the dance tent with its heavy “BOOM BOOM BOOM” of hard rave music, or you could carry straight on and into the chill out tent. Although it’s not my type of music (for starters I play a folk harp) it is the tent that I spent most of my free time in, but more on that latter.

The body painting fashion show

My first show at Maui Waui;

10 30p.m. saw my first show of the weekend. Cosmo gave me a great intro and I walked out onto the stage and into the glare of the lights. Now there’s a big difference between performing in a field and in a big top. The main advantage is that, with a big top, you don’t have to be so loud, as the walls not only keep other sounds out, but also bounce your own voice back. Also there’s no wind to worry about when balancing things like my razor blunt knifes (of doom) on my chin. However, the main disadvantage is the lights. With two sets of sidelights (one set each side of me, hence the name “sidelights”) and a full set of around 8 lights in front of me, it was impossible to see either the audence or, if I’d positioned myself wrong, anything I’m juggling.

I remember back in my early days as a superstar I was booked to perform contact juggling in a theater show. Come my turn to perform all the lights were turned off in the hall and a spotlight was shone onto me. The result was that I couldn’t see a thing and spent more time picking the ball up than I did juggling it. Because of this I always insist on a pre show lighting check, using chalk if need be to mark where best to stand for which part of my show. This I’d done earlier in the day and so the lighting wasn’t a problem. The problem was engaging with an audence that I couldn’t actually see (and looking them in the eyes when you can’t actually see if they have any, isn’t easy)!

Inside the foolhardy big top

Luckily for me there’s numerous tricks of the trade that I’ve learnt over the years to not only engage with an unseen audence, but also to gage their mood and reactions. Then came the part of my linking rings (of doom) routine where I needed a volunteer. normally I’d ask the children for a volunteer, but at this time of night I doubted that there would be any children in the audence. I could of asked the adults who wanted to volunteer, but they rarely do, so instead I just walked into the crowd and picked one at random. Well, I say random. All through my show I’d been listening to the audence and had pinpointed where the most mouthy person was. I wanted to use them partly because the fact that they were heckling me meant that they were someone I could interact with, hopefully in a humorous manner. Partly because they sounded like they would enjoy the limelight, so were unlikely to refuse to join me on stage (there’s few things worse than a volunteer who point blank refuses to volunteer). However, the main reason that I picked on them, I mean picked them, was because they were heckling me, which meant they deserved whatever I decided to throw at them.

“What’s your name” I asked?

“I don’t know” she said, trying to be witty, “what do you want to call me”?

“I know what I want to call you, but this is a family show so let’s just stick with your name”

“Suzanne”

“Thats funny” I replied “that’s my wife’s name. well, I say wife, we’re not married yet. In fact, we’ve only just met”.

It took a second or two for her to realize that it was her I was talking about and then she must of decided that she’d met her match, as she suddenly stopped being so lippy. Shame really.

It was around midnight by the time I’d finished and got changed. I sat in my tent and thought “I’ll just take 5 minutes rest, then I’ll go enjoy the festival. Then promptly fell asleep, completely missing the first nights fun.

My morning magical malarky;

I awoke around 6 a.m. (I’m always an early riser) feeling refreshed and ready for the day. I walked out into the arena to see what, if anything, was happening. There was a group of around 20 people around a large “off the ground fire box” in which several large logs were smoldering away. I joined them around the fire and, as I listened to them talking total rubbish I soon realized that they were all suffering the after effects of what we shall politely call “self inflicted chemical imbalances” (read into that what you will).

“perfect” I thought “time to have some fun”

I was wearing my long red and yellow medieval coat, the one that always has some ping pong balls in it’s pockets.

Now don’t ask me why, but 6 in the morning after a good night’s raving is, for reasons unbeknown to myself, not the time of day when most people expect to come face to face with someone who’s busy regurgitating 50 odd ping pong balls! The mixture of shock, horror, disbelief, manic laughter and confusion it created amongst what until then, had been a peacefully chatting group of festival goers was music to my ears as, balls still spewing forth, I wondered off in search of more heads to play with.

The rest of Saturday was spent chillaxing backstage, chatting with fellow performers and working on some new and frustratingly difficult linking ring moves. I don’t know if I’ll ever put them in to my routine, but that’s not the point. The point is I’ve been trying to learn them for ages. To long to give up now.

Night time magic for an unsuspecting crowd;

It was about 11p.m. by the time I’d finished work and got changed, but this time I actually made it out into the festival in search of “fun” and found it in the crime scene tent.

The tent was crammed packed full of ravers. All facing the stage and dancing to the repetitive beat of music blasting out at a stupidly loud volume. I made my way to the front left-hand side of the stage, then slowly made my way across to the right-hand side. This was a slow and laborious task as I had to watch out for flailing arms and bopping ravers that were packed tighter than lemmings on a cliff top. Luckily this is just what I wanted as it gave me a chance to move slowly, doing heads in as I moved.

I have a magic illusion the effect of which is this. I can pull a small yet bright light out of thin air, then make it disappear at will. Add to this a paper bag and little bit of imagination. The result is that I’m eating lights like a kiddy eats sweets. Taking them out of the paper bag and putting them into my mouth (Oh, and occasionally snorting them up my nose). The reactions I got as I slowly made my way through the crowd with a dead pan, nonchalant look on my face was great Several times I weaved my way through the crowd with this gag. Then, bored with the lights, I retraced my steps, this time regurgitating ping pong balls (of doom).

Some people’s idea of a fun night out is dancing to a repetitive beat, others like to get wasted on beer (or whatever). Me? my idea of a fun night out is doing magic when it’s just not expected. The reactions are totally different from performing on a stage. Most people laugh and a few totally freak out over it, which just adds to the amusement of their friends.

Eventually I tired of these games and retired to the chill out tent. Here I sat of a sofa and joined in a conversation or two whilst enjoying a rather exquisite bottle of chilli mead, a gift from the magic mead company. Next to me a young man happily snored away, oblivious to the face paint that his so called friends were applying to any and all exposed parts of his body. Some games are just timeless.

Sunday morning in the chill out tent;

As always, I awoke early on the sunday and wandered out into the arena in search of a cup of tea. Then, tea in hand (actually it was two teas, one in each hand) I made my way back to the chill out tent. I wasn’t surprised to see the same people sitting in the same chairs, even the paint plastered young man hadn’t awakened, or even moved. In fact the only thing that had changed about him was the amount of face paint that was plastered all over his body. Well, that and the fact that, bored with painting him, people had started to see what they could balance on him without waking him up, a sort of human buckaroo. This included beer cans, ashtrays, a full sized wooden barrel, a hay bale and a really nice looking arm chair. All balanced with the precarious precision that I, as a juggler, could really appreciate. Like I said, some games are timeless. Which presumably is why they’s also tied his shoelaces together! I finished my teas, placed some cushions where I hoped he’d fall (I’m nothing if not kind) then headed on my way safe in the knowledge that I’ve done my good deed for the day.

Towel jugglers;

Sunday night was the last show of the festival and Cosmo had given us all a free hand to do whatever we wanted. The only stipulation was that it had to be obscure and obscure it certainly was. The highlight of that show for me was a hilarious routine by Lucas, Jack and Wilson. Clad in nothing other than a towel each (in Wilson’s case, a towel and a squeezebox) they proceeded to use the towels to perform various juggling maneuvers whilst doing their best not to reveal too much of themselves. It was the sort of routine that Jim Morrison would of been proud of*. Considering the fact that they’d never tried it in front of a live audence before (or, I suspect, since) none of them showed just how nervous they really were.

*(if you get that joke, then you’re an old hippy).

Monday morning was spent breaking camp and saying my goodbyes to friends both old and new. Then I just sat and waited until Stormageddon and jester Dragonfly came to pick me up and take me home to a warm bed and a hot bath. Oh luxury.

The verdict;

So, marks out of 10 for the Maui Waui festival

Layout and organization = 12

Musical diversity = 12

Food prices = 9

All round entertainment = 9 (it loses one point as I feel it could do with some roaming walk about acts, both day and night time)

Friendliness = 15 (one of the most friendly festivals I’ve been to in a very long time)

Is it worth going to if you’re a punter……… HELL YES.

An ode to England’s medieval festival

An ode to England’s medieval festival

Before I recite “an ode to England’s medieval festival”, I’d like to apologize for the late publication of this blog post. It’s been a very busy August. One minute we’re heading south to a medieval festival, the next we’re heading north to a hippy festival and in between I’ve been helping to build a timber framed house, teaching at workshops and learning loads of new magic for next year’s festivals (more on that at a latter date).

Things are slowing down now. I’ve a couple of weeks of private events (birthdays and the such like) then we’re at Rockingham castle for their annual country fair. If you’re in the area, then do come along as it’s a great, fun filled event. If you click on this link, then you can even get discounted tickets from their website.

Anyway, enough of that. Now the moment you’ve all been waiting for. My foolish attempt at poetry, entitled:

An ode to England’s medieval festival

We’re on the m11 zooming down the motorway

the kids are hot and sweaty cause it’s a hot and sweaty day

but we love this sunny weather and we really hope it lasts

cause we’re off to England’s medfest and it’s gonna be a blast

With knights hurting each other in a medieval way

it’s very educational to see them fight that way

as clad in shining armour underneath the baking sun

they roast like christmas turkeys till they are well and truly done

Now we’re at the dartford tunnel and the traffics at a halt

my wife is hot and irritable and says it’s all my fault

that the cars in front aren’t moving so I snarl as I say

Look we’re off to England’s medfest so just smile bitch, ok

With many a merry maiden and some buxom wenches too

all serving cooling honey mead, I’m gonna have a few

then after the merry maidens I might even have a mead

that’s if my darling wife ever lets me off my lead

Now we’re on the A21 driving over rolling hills

through ancient woodlands and past farmers fields

we’re tired and we’re hungry but we won’t stop and rest

till we’re at England’s medfest because medfest is the best

With it’s own jolly jester he’s the highlight of the show

he’s witty and he’s skillful and the main reason that we go

his show is oh so funny we all laugh until we hurt

(it’s just a shame that jonathan won’t pay him what his worth)

The putting the ball on the head very very quickly trick (of doom)

Now we’re here at Herstmonceux and I am so delighted

the drivings done, we’re gonna have fun and the kids are so excited

pass through the gate, then down the hill and 600 years back in time

to england’s medieval festival, the best one of it’s kind

A living history demonstration of how to make medieval fishnet stockings

With a medieval market, living history and more

jousting jousters jousting and soldiers by the score

there’s camping and there’s glamping and there’s shows both day and night

so if you wanna come and have loads of fun, then just click here for their website

P,S, dont forget to like my facebook page; WWW.facebook.com/D.S.PEAT