an ode to England’s medieval festival

Before I recite “an ode to England’s medieval festival”, I’d like to apologize for the late publication of this blog post. It’s been a very busy August. One minute we’re heading south to a medieval festival, the next we’re heading north to a hippy festival and in between I’ve been helping to build a timber framed house, teaching at workshops and learning loads of new magic for next year’s festivals (more on that at a latter date).

Things are slowing down now. I’ve a couple of weeks of private events (birthdays and the such like) then we’re at Rockingham castle for their annual country fair. If you’re in the area, then do come along as it’s a great, fun filled event. If you click on this link, then you can even get discounted tickets from their website.

Anyway, enough of that. Now the moment you’ve all been waiting for. My foolish attempt at poetry, entitled

An ode to England’s medieval festivalflaglogo-734x120

We’re on the m11 zooming down the motorway

the kids are hot and sweaty cause it’s a hot and sweaty day

but we love this sunny weather and we really hope it lasts

cause we’re off to England’s medfest and it’s gonna be a blast

Medieval men at arms, ready to hit each other on the head with large, heavy weapons in the name of "fun"
Medieval men at arms, ready to hit each other on the head with large, heavy weapons in the name of “fun”

With knights hurting each other in a medieval way

it’s very educational to see them fight that way

as clad in shining armour underneath the baking sun

they roast like christmas turkeys till they are well and truly done

A brave commander leading his army onto the field of battle
A brave commander leading his army onto the field of battle

Now we’re at the dartford tunnel and the traffics at a halt

my wife is hot and irritable and says it’s all my fault

that the cars in front aren’t moving so I snarl as I say

Look we’re off to England’s medfest so just smile bitch, ok

Not just the best mead at the festival, but the best mead anywhere, ever. check out their chilli mead. It's so yummy).
Not just the best mead at the festival, but the best mead anywhere, ever. check out their chilli mead. (It’s so yummy).

With many a merry maiden and some buxom wenches too

all serving cooling honey mead, I’m gonna have a few

then after the merry maidens I might even have a mead

that’s if my darling wife ever lets me off my lead

Id just like to point out that these two pentacle drummers are merry maidens and definitely NOT wenches
In the name of self preservation, Id just like to point out that these two pentacle drummers are merry maidens and definitely NOT wenches

Now we’re on the A21 driving over rolling hills

through ancient woodlands and past farmers fields

we’re tired and we’re hungry but we won’t stop and rest

till we’re at England’s medfest because medfest is the best

A bespoke piece of medieval magic known as "The run dragon run trick of doom)"
A bespoke piece of medieval magic known as “The run dragon run trick (of doom)”

With it’s own jolly jester he’s the highlight of the show

he’s witty and he’s skillful and the main reason that we go

his show is oh so funny we all laugh until we hurt

(it’s just a shame that jonathan won’t pay him what his worth)

The putting the ball on the head very very quickly trick of doom)
The putting the ball on the head very very quickly trick (of doom)

Now we’re here at Herstmonceux and I am so delighted

the drivings done, we’re gonna have fun and the kids are so excited

pass through the gate, then down the hill and 600 years back in time

to england’s medieval festival, the best one of it’s kind

A living history demonstration of how to make medieval fishnet stockings
A living history demonstration of how to make medieval fishnet stockings

With a medieval market, living history and more

jousting jousters jousting and soldiers by the score

there’s camping and there’s glamping and there’s shows both day and night

so if you wanna come and have loads of fun, then just click here for their website

 

Two grown adults poking each other with great big long poking sticks
Two grown adults poking each other with great big long poking sticks

P,S, dont forget to like my facebook page; WWW.facebook.com/D.S.PEAT

 

 

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7 thoughts on “an ode to England’s medieval festival

  • 10th September 2016 at 2:05 pm
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    Fantastic love it !

    Reply
  • 10th September 2016 at 3:21 pm
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    Brilliant! Made me chuckle! x

    Reply
    • 10th September 2016 at 3:37 pm
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      29 years in show business and I’ve finally made someone chuckle. Oh happy days

      Reply
  • 10th September 2016 at 4:56 pm
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    I do I say I do I say
    Spy a joker out to play
    He makes em larf
    Wiv ‘is great craft

    So that’s why we luv you
    And fellow meadivalist too!

    Reply
  • 13th September 2016 at 8:46 am
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    Wlasn’t there this year but hope you had a lovely time . well done with the ode and hope you managed to get some mead!

    Reply

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